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 First Love.

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Oli:)
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PostSubject: First Love.   Sat Apr 03, 2010 1:01 am

I feel your heart beating, corresponding to my own; your warmth creates an aura of impenetrable euphoria.
We transfer breath, creating an invisible flow of air like a soft summery breeze.

Your eyes meet mine, our sight is limitless as the moon shines its eternal illumination on us, just us. Your fingers are like the ocean's waves on my neck and lips like velvet on mine. Our toes entertwine, locking us together by an enigmatic energy.

The world is our oyster, the hours tick by endlessly as we lie there, caught under eachother's gaze. This infatuation is the reason for our existence, forever will we be together; always floating in a sea of affection.
Our love erupts like an ever-going volcano, an evocation of purity.

And now I para-phrase Sarah Bernhardt to you - "Your words are my food, your breath my wine. You are everything to me."
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Nelliel
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PostSubject: Re: First Love.   Sat Apr 03, 2010 10:52 am

That was very good. The beginning started out excellently, but where you wrote "floating in a sea of affection", it sounded off to me, in a way. It seemed like it needed more intensity and passion. Alas, what you wrote was beautiful and from the heart, I'm simply giving some constructive criticism. :)
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Oli:)
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PostSubject: Re: First Love.   Sat Apr 03, 2010 12:11 pm

Thanks :) and yeh you're right, I think that line needed a bit more love :P
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PostSubject: Re: First Love.   Mon Apr 05, 2010 6:42 am

This is incredible Oli.
It's very true and makes me miss my special someones :(
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PostSubject: Re: First Love.   Mon Apr 05, 2010 11:20 am

Thank you ^_^
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PostSubject: Re: First Love.   Fri Aug 06, 2010 1:47 am

I loled :D
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